this version of me

I saw a post on Instagram last week that stopped my mindless scrolling. I think Luvvie had shared it to her stories, but it was written by Rupi Kaur. It said, “I will never have this version of me again. Let me slow down and be with her.”

Whoa.

My whole body loosened—my shoulders dropped, my stomach unclenched, my breathing slowed. I closed the app and sat still for a minute.

What a gift of a reminder. In all my rushing and striving for some future self that “has it all figured out,” I’m not taking the time to be with this version of me. And if I’m trying to rush past this version of me, I’m effectively telling myself that where I am isn’t ok. Isn’t good enough.

It’s funny how these reminders can still feel like a revelation. I fully believe that engaging with the present moment is how we access joy. That if we delay our happiness or our self-compassion, we don’t just all of a sudden reach a moment where we enjoy our lives. Joy and wonder and self-compassion are cultivated as a practice. This is what led me to start Wonder Walks. And yet it doesn’t take much for me to get swept away in the frenzy of a productivity mindset and all of the “shoulds” of the world.

So let me take time to be with this version of me. Let me slow down and enjoy this moment, even as I “figure it out.” Even in all of this moment’s perceived messiness and incompleteness.

What would that look like? What would it feel like? It would look like forgiveness and acceptance of where I am. It would feel like presence, a return to inhabiting my body instead of letting my mind wander into a future full of concern and tension. It would feel expansive—like a full body breath, like possibility.

This week, may we be ok with where we are.

May we enjoy this time with this version of ourselves.

P.S. I highly recommend Luvvie’s Professional Troublemaker. Find it at your local independent bookstore or on her website here.